why I’d rather not know

maybe we abided  miscommunication
because asking
would mean knowing
and knowing would mean
having no more need
for communication
and then a silence like
this would reign


on any day

I marvel at contrasts
lull over dirt
admire the patterns
left by rust
I clear the clutter
focus on points
feast on colour
connect the dots
I look behind
savour the best
then look ahead
to face the worst

And all the countless
in betweens
I try to fill
with endless reams
of lists of things
that I should do
All to stopper
thoughts of you


when I saw you
words bubbled
to the surface
reflecting universes
of all that never was
and would never be

a modest supposition

who cherish
the hope of finding
that rare hidden gem
often redefine
the common or vulgar
as special
to make our effort
to grab its attention

Perhaps we
are the gems
that long to be found
worthy of attention
amongst all
the tinsel and noise

maybe then

perhaps when the last item of clothing
worn in your presence
is threadbare and forgotten 

when I’ve changed job
and the walls that contain me 

when my daily route
filled with the thought
of seeing you at one end
is definitively altered

when I’ve moved
the orientation of my bed
and the pillow that absorbed
those dreams
so the morning beams from a different angle 

when I’m emptied of words to describe all the spaces you left behind 

when I no longer recognize
my face or the place I stand in
or do any of those things
I did with a heart full of you 

perhaps then
I will have moved on


and that last day arrives
the one where you take
a second of every ten
to record everything
that won’t keep
nor sit to be framed

broken sea shells
sunlight at that angle
iodine and fruit scents
dried dirt and thorny leaves
the patch of missing skin
scraped onto that missed step
the shiver brought on
by that aching voice
singing of love lost
shaking forming thoughts
images loose, sense lost
sand uplifted clings, stings
words ring distant
insistant persistent wind
slams, damns any soft veils
revealing there will be
no more smooth sailing
just a rushed crash
into the shore

in this lilac light I can forgive
the mountains’ flanks shaved
of much needed shade
and the sea’s incessant waves
forcing me home

weathering change

The seasons have lost meaning
and the weather comes in waves
clouds curl and unfurl
with out reason
having lost their urge to rain

Still spring fooled me
into thinking
summer would be bringing
something sweeter
round the bend, then
the sun draped sheets
steeped in silence
on concrete streets
leading to a horizon
where only wind
could bring change
but dry skies turn
skin thin those roads
bleached to bone grey
winding away from the coast
and the past becomes a ghost
too pale to boast
of its remains

Tomorrow, smells of wet concrete cooling in the rain
will remind me
of dreams expired
and expectations foregone
leaving me to remember remembering
and longing to long
for spring again

if you could see me now

did you see me when I was falling?
how bright I shone?
how I spun while flailing
leaving a retinal trail
to move your senses
and draw you in
beckoning you
in to describe me
to inscribe your wishes
on my skin?
did you see the imprint I left
when I crashed
into your stone heart
resistant to ripples?
now I lie cold and dull
smoothed and overlooked
and watch the stars
waiting for one to crash at my side
and make eternity less lonesome
if only you would see me now


Rubble lines the shore
a rusty wreckage
wedged in the rocks
to make a perfect statement
about something I can’t name
If I go close enough
I can capture
the unlikely textures
the awkward angle
that distinguishes it
from the rubble
but I know the rocks in between
are bigger and more jagged
than they appear from here
I weigh the effort
against the potential
and measure the possible disappointment
still, I’m drawn in
without that pile of rust
there would be nothing
worth pondering here
so I bow to rust and time

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