stalling

I shake the dust
out of my dreams
and wipe the starlight
from my eyes
to see but black holes
left behind
in the corners of my mind
the truth is I will
forget and forgive
in half measures until
there’s hardly much left at all
but the slow fall
to the ground
with no bang to resound
hardly a thud to begrudge
or nudge me on

all those promises that failed
don’t matter in the clatter
of the after hour din
grace lies within
faces turned ochre
hanging over
lanterns dimmed
in honour of a past
that never happened
tonight we’ll dine
and talk about the need
for less or more
though its only decor
it will tap our momentum
and crash to the floor

in the pieces
we’ll find reason
to get ready for a new season
of new colours on the wall
though we’re only stalling
for excuses to avoid moving on

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I don’t know how or when
it dawned on me
Maybe it was all those questions
ignored or answered too quickly,
or worse, those never asked
Maybe it was the guiltless confessions
and the lack of traces
or the blank silence
when all else failed
Alright, it was the craftless selfie
framed with such disregard
for the object
and the viewer
it revealed everything

so much less

They say that the total
is worth more than its parts
you proved them to be wrong
your lips were worth more
than the kiss they formed
your tongue worth more
than its words
your shoulders’ curves more
than the pride they held high
your smile more
than the thoughts it belied
the lines of your torso
and shape of your spine
more than the lengths
to which they would go
to prove that the heart
that beat so loud and strong
wasn’t just for show

originally posted on jotnrot June 15, 2017

that thing between us

That thing you now
think we have
I made it of words
I gave it shape with, well,
timed pauses

I reflected your light and cast
enough of your doubts
to make you look long
and fall back dizzy
into my arms

I blew smoke into your eyes
to cloud your view
of all that you used
to blind yourself

I gave you crumbs and cake
so you could tell
the difference between
hunger and desire fulfilled
and then cleared the table
of distractions
and just deserts

I stared you down
until you turned away
and came to sit by my side
laying your cards in a row
so I could bestow
my vision and blessings
to the page of hearts
hung upside down
and the hanged man
dancing upright

And the night spilled in
so much ink
wasted in
shaping our shadows
only to be swallowed
by the oncoming darkness

on the tip of my tongue

what was that thing
I wanted to say
yesterday
it sparked in my heart
and burned in my mind
it flared in my throat
and seared my tongue
before I could cry out
today
my mouth is full of ashes
my lips sputter
shapeless words
bitter without colour
sifting back
into my hollow gut

long shadows

When our intentions blistered
in the dry dead of winter
how we longed for the early spring rains
Now drenched we start to wonder
if the spell we were under
didn’t blind us to love’s decay

When insight starts to dawn
and beliefs are shown wrong
will you come out and meet me halfway

When the shadows are long
and opinions run strong
will you still want to come out and play

The wind blows up dust
and hints of distrust
but your smile still holds its sway
So I will lie if I must
just to keep hearts from rusting
but it won’t always be this way

#prompt

fortelling

I’m going to write
of what will be
When one and one
will equal three
And you’ll be hanging
on the line
Between what’s true
and what’s denied

You’ll blankly stare
at pictures made
Of choices forced
to cover shame
In smoke filled rooms
of solitude
You’ll long for oneness
made of two

You’ll gather dreams
into a pyre
And seek a match
to light the fire
You’ll find me with
my hand stretched out
Each match you light
I will snuff out

A thousand times
if there need be
Until the day
you come to me
Without want,
or need or goal
To sit beside
the truth I hold

originally posted 01.01.2015 on jotnrot

old love

old lover, I saw you
in a dream, aging
I tried to show your shine
while you lay back
laughing snidely
revealing your decay
as my failure to preserve
your memory

old lover, I saw you
in a dream, much younger
I tried to reach out
back to that time
you shrugged contritely
at our shared impotence
before circumstance 

old lover
I see you now,
as in a dream
I try to retrace
the long path to here
with you standing ready
to steady love swaying
so it endures
the receding tides  

come closer old lover
come lean in on me
bend me to your will
until I lose my shape
and let you fall
or snap sharp
and stick in your heart
so that you dream of me

this day is not for us

This day is for roses
tended
clipped and gathered
presented and preserved
worth less living than dried
in a perfect still life

not for dandelions
sprung
unwanted and hushed
weeded and snuffed
only to rage wildfires
round the rim of our lives

So today let us gaze
upon our roses
as they wilt
and are hung to keep
and pull the blinds
on the expanse
where dandelions sleep
until blazing, they again invade
our righteous dreams of spring

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