cast apart


Perhaps if I were
a fuller woman
of ribald good cheer
laughing loudly
with heart thumping
blood to my cheeks
shiny with tears

Perhaps if I were
a smoother woman
of damselesque acquiescence
blushing face turned aside
in humility to hide
eyes watering with gratitude

But I am a sinewy scowling observer
calculating risks
snickering solopsistically
at irony whetted cynicism,
glowing in a nihilist tear
contained by the fear
that I don’t fit
nor matter one bit
in this narrow cast
of respectable roles

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