vacation

and that last day arrives
the one where you take
a second of every ten
to record everything
that won’t keep
nor sit to be framed

broken sea shells
sunlight at that angle
iodine and fruit scents
dried dirt and thorny leaves
the patch of missing skin
scraped onto that missed step
the shiver brought on
by that aching voice
singing of love lost
shaking forming thoughts
images loose, sense lost
sand uplifted clings, stings
words ring distant
insistant persistent wind
slams, damns any soft veils
revealing there will be
no more smooth sailing
just a rushed crash
into the shore

in this lilac light I can forgive
the mountains’ flanks shaved
of much needed shade
and the sea’s incessant waves
forcing me home

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the big picture

Yes, I see
the big picture
The one
with commitments
Arching over
every horizon
And goals thickening
in the sky
But it doesn’t sustain
my focus
Like the details
that poke through the fog–
The feel of the back of your neck
against the palm of my hand
The nuance in colour
between your skin and your lips
The inflection of your voice
thickening with intent
The arch of your eyebrows
awaiting an answer
you may not like
And your eyes flashing
at a challenge–
I let my mind trip
and my heart rip
upon these protrusions
before they too fade
into the big picture

originally posted 17.12.2015

gutted

I sat there with no need to watch
As I knew the act by heart
So oft I’d dreamt of it, that only
Its blatancy caught me off guard

She flaunted cheap and easy
As if they were compliments
What I couldn’t bring myself to do
She did with clear intent

A helplessness affected
to reveal what would await
With little hesitation
The effort wouldn’t pay

A call to come discover
A feeling I can’t name
Is hardly competition
For such a dazzling flame

She lay In wait wide open
Displaying what she had to give
I waited, hunched above my book
Clutching words, my hands a sieve

And so I watched with my third eye
Waiting for some sign
That I was right and in the end would win
While she took home the prize

With all the grace of one effaced
I tried to disappear
While knowing that my presence
Wouldn’t, couldn’t interfere

I could hate her for making look simple
what ought not be so
But he’s the one who swelled with pride
And cared not that it showed

How painlessly and easy
It all happens for others it seems
While I must sit and twist and churn
And live it out in dreams

I’d felt it all before and waited
for my stomach to turn
But I had been completely gutted
An empty, useless urn

And so I sat dumbfounded
At my vision’s truth revealed
Wishing all the time and care
I gave, could be repealed

But all I was afforded
Was a chance to observe
And now relive the moment
As it turns to words

hedges

I want to float on the lake
and hear the city buzz by
instead of this fly
trapped in my car
We’ve both made a wrong turn
this time

In my brain
I rearrange
the signs to spell benign
though I’m inclined
to engage in acts
more outrageous
than partially blinding myself

I pull down the visor against
the light of insight
begrudging better judgement
I think of you in small doses
half of a half of a half
to the impossible measure
where a breath’s breadth
from the treasure
I’ll lunge fully into you
and again misconstrue
all your eyes implored
until I’m lost once more

And if only my wages
were as high as the hedges
the man in the Hendrix shirt trims
Then I’d know how to fix
this mess I’m in
Instead I wonder why the rich
have streets with no sidewalks or names
And if my accent is as lame
as the woman on my phone
directing me home
when I’d rather stay lost just the same

pop pop boom

retinal overlay
makes the day glow
orange grove brown
down to the alley
dead end rally
of tin can rattles
for every penny matters
of the heart
stuck with darts
parted from hands
dissolving prayers
rubbed into the layers
of skin thin with
interest in stories
not built by bricking
quick thinking
to a stop
now drop and
hear the call
up on the wall
written for all
to fall down
go underground
duck those bullets
flying about
all the lying
grinding thought
to a halt
one is lost
another blinded
by the signs
all around us
glowing neon
sounding reason
gypsy genes
ankles bared
afros, knees braced
receding hair glare
details detached
fragmented despair
while I digress
in this mess
I must confess
I scan the lines
to find a plot
all I see is what is not

No

Suddenly ideas beamed towards her. She could see them streaming through the window. Smell. Cookie. Stairs. Lots. Sunshine. Porch. Chicacoos, chicka, chickadoos. Birds. Crumbs. Up. Chair.

She could.

Her mother was talking in the bathroom.

Go downstairs. She did that before. It was hard but she could do it.

No falling. To the kitchen. To the cookies. They were up with the red chair. She could climb. The big part against the sink, like John did. He gave her a cookie too.

She pushed off her blankets and rolled her legs off the bed. This was the hard part. Reach the floor, almost, and let go without falling, without Mom coming.

“Mrs. Gerakis! You know you shouldn’t get up alone. Robbie will be here at 8:30 to help you wash. After breakfast, maybe we’ll sit on the terrace. But no hiding bread in your pockets. Those pigeons are dirty.”

She slumped back on the pillow, legs dangling. Words. “No,” was all she heard. No cookie. No stairs. No chickadees. No John. Not ever again.

 

 Daily Prompt: Agile

saving grace

and when our wired limbs
crossed and snagged on intent
were done releasing their tensions
you lay, hair frayeď
mouth splàyed open
with no remorse
for the stains that drained
deodorant clumped
under arms raised
without grace
to take more space
than earned
I took in the waste
grateful for the image
that would serve
to move me past and on
once you would wake
to be so much less
than what I made of you

daily post: patina

witness

I saw you in that car
parked in the dark
your face a half lit moon
gazing at the screen
your finger hovering
ready to delete and move on

Your face reflected a world
of pain and joy
suspended in a void
an alternate universe
being destroyed

I envied your strength
to pinch it to black
as I wished I had done
a whole lifetime back
when I could still hope
time would erase and replace
the empty space 
with new wonders
instead of a glowing
screen gone blank

fallen

fleeting thoughts scattered
swirl round to gather
at my feet with the leaves
dispelled like remnants
of withered dreams
the frozen trunk won’t feed
fall’s fading light
is far too bright
for the void it breeds

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