burnt

the first time I blushed
the second I blistered
the third left me scorched
as I turned to coal
burning long and ardent
leaving shapely ashes

though I may look
only discoloured
now the tiniest gesture
threatens to blow me away

skin to skin

Let us lie
skin to skin
and abide
’till colours and lines
blur with time
and all it has taken back from us
‘Till we find
solace in grey
at the end of the day
and shun the brighter rays
that blanch us from its horizons

Let’s not talk of things
we cannot change
Of all those mistakes
we should have made
while we still believed
we could rise with the tide
and find higher ground

Let our artifacts gather around
and life’s lessons tie us down
Let the dust pile on high
while we lie
skin to skin
breathing out
breathing in
Breathing out
our love’s
last sigh

changed

You changed me
Your smile
infected my face
Your tears drowned out
my petty concerns
Your hunger
sent me searching
for sustenance to nourish
our bodies and souls

You changed me
You replaced I
Need replaced want
Alone disappeared
and would never again
return my calls
but would show up unexpected
when I needed together
or someone else
most

And time became the blob on the river
Bobbing past before I could figure out what the water carried
Leaving me to guess and wonder what I may have missed
While knowing it could never be better than this

breathless

jotNrot

you
and I
we behold
a small secret
we giggle and blush
and hide and wait all hushed
days of reckoning to come
when lying breathlessly we’ll lie
denying meaning in our acts
retracting all our intents
covering the scratches
they left on our hearts
caged behind bars
of teeth clenched
in dead
smiles

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the change

jotNrot

do you remember when
we couldn’t meet each other’s gaze
without our insides being revealed
when a quick look would bring a flush
to flood our ears with more blood
than any bellowed avowal

do you recall
how the faintest gestures
turned the winds warm around us
and the slightest innuendos
to garish overstatements
of what was wordlessly declared

while the world passed around us
like so many ghosts
the space between us burned
luring us to the embers
and covering us in ashes

and now, we can’t so much as glance
in each other’s direction
without first shuttering our eyes
behind indignant politesse
we let others exaggerate for us
and tell what tale they will

now, there’s never
enough air in the room
if we stand in it together
And we, the ghosts that spread a chill
numbing any tongues that dare wag
or question the change

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bile

I wish I never see you again

That I never again see those worn out shoes and overstepped soles

Nor those pants hanging limply from your ass begrudging your budding potbelly

Nor that tight t-shirt with the print too faded to cue memory stretched over your back slouching for some slack

I never again want to see those hands with nails bitten back to atonement

Nor those ears stretching up to bear that nose that beaks when you grin

Even less the shine of your scalp freshly-shaved from your latest absolving ablutions

But mostly, I wish I never again look into
those caked-mud eyes
that only pretend to see

(but my wishes never come true)

what’s left

jotNrot

Though violent colours turn to grey
There’s a slight bruise that won’t fade
A little hurt goes a long, long way
To carry the past into today

Knowing there would come an end
I stole some time to play pretend
I tended hopes among the bends
And bent way over to make amends

Abandoned schemes rise up at night
So I craft words to gain some might
And squeeze out moments of sour delight
To twist defeat into a rite

I search for traces of where I lay
And pondered ifs and cants and mays
Weeds grow over the path I made
Yet none can hide the lingering shame

Deserted dreams hung out to dry
Howl in my sleep demanding why
I sold them for a shallow sigh
And still refuse to set things right

But habit will erase the ache
And leave a longing in its wake
And each…

View original post 43 more words

change of season

The winds had change on their minds that March
With the gusts whipping the substance out of my determination
And my back up against that frosty wall
What could I do but give in to your fire
It was a matter of survival
justified by entropy

But your ardent flame
was a raspy tongue
First cleansing me
then sloughing off my skin
it started at my flesh

All my ugliness revealed
sharp bones bared
and teeth chattering
only ignited your heart

Barely standing
I sought in your shelter
a place to heal

And now that we’ve built this house
to which I’ve cleaved
like a tortoise to its shell
The winds’ howls beckon again
rattling me to risk
tearing myself, you,
and its walls asunder

biding time

I long for the day
when my mind will stomp
on the over-trodden pavement
where my heart hangs out
relentlessly waiting for
vindication to walk by
and throw a few deserving coins

To winch it out of the gutter
where it marinates
in wastewater
that has long ceased to flow

For now it just sits beside it
and stews

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